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Why is the ben sorer umoreh killed for minor theft while Yishmael, who attempted murder, is judged באשר הוא שם? The answer lies in recognizing two types of wrongdoing: sins committed by someone grounded in this world (reversible) versus obsession with pleasure as escape from responsibility (irreversible). The ben sorer umoreh's wine and meat obsession signals he's living in a world of escape—not seeking olam haba or even olam hazeh—making his path to destruction inevitable unless ziknei ha'ir can connect him back to reality.
The shiur addresses a fundamental question: why is the ben sorer umoreh—a boy aged thirteen to thirteen-and-three-months who steals from his father to buy meat and wine—executed for what appears to be a minor sin, while Yishmael, who attempted murder by shooting arrows at Yitzchok, is saved in the desert based on the principle "adam nidon l'fi ma she'hu sham" (a person is judged according to what he is at that moment)? The question becomes even sharper when we realize that the ben sorer umoreh has not yet committed the murder the Torah (תורה) fears he will commit, whereas Yishmael has already attempted the worst possible crime. Rabbi Zweig explains that the distinction lies not in the severity of the sin committed, but in the underlying motivation and psychological state of the sinner. There are two fundamentally different types of wrongdoing: sins committed by someone who remains grounded in this world, and behavior driven by a desire to escape from reality entirely. Yishmael, despite his terrible actions, wants money, inheritance, and to carry on Avrohom's legacy—he is firmly rooted in olam hazeh, with ambitions and goals in this world. Such a person can change tomorrow, next week, or next year, because he is connected to reality and responsive to the demands and opportunities of this world. He is judged "ba'asher hu sham" because where he stands now is genuine—he has not disconnected from the possibility of change.
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Parshas Ki Seitzei 21:18-21 (Ben Sorer Umoreh), 21:10-14 (Yefas Toar)
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What is the primary purpose of the cities of refuge - protecting the accidental killer or something else? The shiur argues that creating respect for law takes precedence over providing sanctuary. True deterrence comes from recognizing the gravity of murder itself, not fear of punishment.
