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What does the Rambam (רמב"ם) mean when he requires husbands to honor their wives financially 'kefi hamono' rather than 'kefi kocho'? The shiur distinguishes between giving within one's current means versus sacrificing one's lifestyle, showing that prioritizing a wife's needs communicates commitment without requiring financial strain. When wives feel genuinely prioritized, they often choose to redirect resources to family and community needs.
Rabbi Zweig delivers an in-depth analysis of the Rambam (רמב"ם)'s Hilchos Shalom Bayis, focusing on chapters 15-19 regarding financial obligations between spouses. He begins by examining the phrase "marba betova kefi hamono" and its distinction from "kefi kocho." Drawing a parallel to Hilchos Teshuvah where the Rambam discusses tzedakah "kefi kocho," Rabbi Zweig explains that kefi kocho means giving to the extent that it changes one's lifestyle - requiring genuine sacrifice and personal transformation. In contrast, kefi hamono means within one's existing means without lifestyle alteration. Regarding marital obligations, the Rambam requires husbands to honor their wives financially (mechabda et hamegufa) but only kefi hamono, not kefi kocho. This means a husband must prioritize his wife's needs within his current financial capacity but is not obligated to downgrade his lifestyle or take on debt. For example, if there's $100 available, it should go to the wife's needs rather than the husband's wants, but he need not sell his car to buy her luxuries or change from a Lexus to a Toyota if it significantly impacts his quality of life.
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Is raising your hand against someone (assault) merely a "shem rasha" or is it a Torah prohibition that carries malkus? The shiur analyzes whether the lav applies only when you actually hit (battery) or whether threatening counts as the beginning of the prohibited act. Targum Yonasan ben Uziel's reading of "arba'im yakenu"—that the fortieth malkah is lifting the hand without striking—suggests that the gesture itself constitutes a hakah and triggers the lav.
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Rambam Hilchos Shalom Bayis 15-19
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