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What does it mean for a husband to honor his wife 'yoser migufo' - more than himself? The shiur develops the principle that this requires a special level of kavod that demonstrates reverence, showing one's wife that she has enabled him to reach his potential. True marital honor means conveying that she has made him more than he could have been alone.
This shiur provides a comprehensive analysis of the Rambam (רמב"ם)'s ruling in Hilchos Ishus regarding a husband's obligation to honor his wife 'yoser migufo' (more than himself). Rabbi Zweig begins by examining two complementary halachos: the husband's duty to honor his wife (halacha (הלכה) 19) and the wife's corresponding obligation to honor her husband (halacha 20), noting that the Rambam places the husband's obligation first, indicating that he must take the initiative in creating a harmonious marriage. A significant portion of the shiur is devoted to clarifying the relationship between kavod (honor) and yirah (reverence/fear). Rabbi Zweig challenges the conventional understanding of a Gemara (גמרא) in Kiddushin that states a married woman is exempt from the mitzvah (מצוה) of 'imo v'oviv tiro' because she is not 'reshut b'yado.' He argues that this exemption refers specifically to the kavod aspect of yirah - a special type of honor that demonstrates reverence - rather than basic respect obligations like not calling parents by their names.
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Is raising your hand against someone (assault) merely a "shem rasha" or is it a Torah prohibition that carries malkus? The shiur analyzes whether the lav applies only when you actually hit (battery) or whether threatening counts as the beginning of the prohibited act. Targum Yonasan ben Uziel's reading of "arba'im yakenu"—that the fortieth malkah is lifting the hand without striking—suggests that the gesture itself constitutes a hakah and triggers the lav.
Why does the Rambam define the mitzvah of teshuva as vidui (confession) rather than internal repentance? The shiur argues that genuine teshuva requires focusing on the victim—God or others—rather than self-improvement. Teshuva means "return" to closeness with Hashem, not merely fixing past mistakes.
Rambam Hilchos Ishus 15:19
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