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Why does material success often lead to unhappiness rather than joy? The shiur explains that familiarity breeds entitlement, not gratitude - we stop appreciating what we have and just get angry when we don't get more. Purim (פורים)'s matanos l'evyonim breaks this cycle by giving people the experience of receiving undeserved gifts, which restores genuine simcha.
Whatever we get used to we no longer appreciate and feel simcha about. We just become angered if we don't get it. We also become the center of our universe - and not of G-d's - and we want to stay like that. Haman couldn't stand Mordechai's refusal though he had everything. He used lots to give himself feeling of getting luck for free. We give gifts to give feeling to others of receiving what's undeserved. Then they can appreciate and have true simcha.
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Up Next in this Series
Why does Rosh Hashanah feel oppressive if we should serve God from love, not for reward? The shiur resolves this through Rashi's apparent contradiction: we must expect God's response without demanding payment owed. True love requires knowing the beloved will reciprocate from caring, not obligation, transforming judgment day into celebration of divine relationship.
Why does the Midrash connect Pharaoh's expulsion of the Jews to the mitzvah of shiluach hakan? The shiur develops a chiddush that Pharaoh's sin wasn't only drowning the children, but the insensitivity of expelling the parents afterward. The deeper analysis reveals that Pharaoh may have valued the Jews greatly and wanted to control them—making his expulsion an act of tremendous cruelty, not liberation.
Why does Moshe respond to the splitting of the sea with shirah rather than praise or thanksgiving? Rashi's use of "al libo" reveals that shirah is an emotional expression—a response of love to love. When Hashem shows personal care, the only adequate response is "I love You too," not mere gratitude or praise, and this principle applies to all relationships.
Why do we owe parents gratitude when they had children for their own fulfillment, not our benefit? The shiur establishes that we owe hakaras hatov to anyone who benefits us regardless of their motives, since nothing is owed to us in the first place. This yesod explains why Og earned merit despite evil intentions and why gratitude creates ongoing obligation rather than closing accounts.
